The Big Day - Too late or too soon?

A month or so after a break up, you will either:

1. Feel like maybe you should have given it another chance, a little more time
-or-
2. Wonder why on earth you waited so long. (Oh that hindsight is so very 20/20!)

Whichever it is, please realize, that there is no “perfect day” to break up.
You will either feel one of these two things.
The most important thing is to move on with no regrets.


Emotions and relationships are not linear...you have good days, bad days, a good week, a bad month...this is why it’s so difficult to tell when it’s a rough patch or just a rough relationship.

Wherever you are in a breakup, if you feel you need to give it another chance, then give it another chance. However, know that you may end up in Category 2 afterwards.

That’s not the end of the world. Category 2 is actually easier to put behind you. You know that you tried EVERYTHING you could, and it wasn’t meant to be. Just let yourself off the hook if you haven’t yet.

You were not stupid, naïve, gullible, or anything bad. You just hadn’t learned the lesson yet. Now you have, so, great…you won’t need it again.

Category 1, also known as the “what if” category. Usually, you were right in breaking it off as well, but this category is most often guilty for people nostalgically thinking this was “the one that got away.”

It wasn’t.

You just got out of class a little early that time.

The most important thing is to move on with no regrets. Forgive yourself, forgive the other person, and keep the lesson with you always. As long as you do that, not one second was ever wasted.

By Doe Zantamata

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 26, 2016 at 9:26 AM

    I really enjoyed my long distance relationship I still smile on all the good of it , he was mine and I was his for 2 yrs.I love him with all my heart still have hope for him but I just decided not to beg him anymore he loved that he is a control freak and he lost it with me at the end. I tried everything to work with him on all his levels not mine his, but he was just to blind to see , and so decided I do not need to beg him I am not going to, I didn't he said it was my choice not his I was the one taking the action and to remember it was me ending the relationship not him because he promised he wouldn't so in this case he wins per say but does he? I think not he loses a person that loves him no matter what I never asked him to change I love the way he is and now I am moving on. This site has helped me with my broken heart. I will keep reading until I feel I am back to myself, thank you Zoe.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One Day...

Image
 One day, they will regret doing wrong by you and losing you because they will see how amazing your life turned out without them. So stop regretting the past and focus on creating your amazing life. ~Doe Zantamata Available as a poster, magnet, greeting card, aluminum keychain, wall tile, or mousepad here: http://www.cafepress.com/happinessinyourlife  
Read more

Self Worth

Image
Recognize your own worth and you won't be drawn to those who don't see it.  -Doe Zantamata Always be aware of your feelings. They are the voice of your intuition…your inner truth.  A lot of times in relationships, people are very happy and excited to be in something new, and are very complimentary and notice all the good little things. Then after awhile, especially in those who are insecure, they lose that initial "niceness" and instead begin to get comfortable.  Eventually, some start to seem to notice only the little things they don't like or that bother them, and have forgotten all about the good little things.  This can happen subtly over time, so it's good to keep track of your inner feelings at all times. If you notice not feeling right, don't second guess yourself or talk yourself out of it. Reflect on that feeling and what it means to you.  There are some people who feel that once a person is "hooked," they do
Read more

One more try or enough is enough?

Image
Decision: Get back together or break up forever? Take the pressure off of yourself with the following thought: There is no "wrong" action, just choices and consequences. If you go back and it turns out to be the wrong thing, you'll know for sure. If you do not go back, you may always wonder if you should have given it one more go, or you may feel peace and relief of not having the anxiety for the same thing to happen again that had happened so many times. There's a part in each that will be resolved in the outside world, and a part in each that needs to be and can only be resolved within you. If you feel hesitant, it could be intuition or at this point it could be self-protection/fear of not wanting to return to that which you know has the ability to cause you great pain. Wherever you go, go fully. If you decide to go back, do so with optimism and not with anxiety. If you do not go back, move forward in life with curiosity to the new and not with regrets
Read more